Global Talk

From: "Paul Gunderson"
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2007

Although I've been planning on being a missionary since I was 8 years old, it seems like the closer I get to going overseas, the more scared I am feeling. Missions has always been future tense, something I'd do when I "grew up". Feelings of inadequacy and fear can overwhelm me when I consider it in the "present" tense.
Paul and I are receiving great tools for missions here at the training center in Missouri, but just last week it hit me, "What are we doing?" I broke down and started crying. I can't be sure if it was the "tech tips" class that we are in and the overwhelming feeling of not knowing what kind of batteries, refrigerators, solar panels, and tools to purchase that did it, or the fact that we don't know which country we'll go to and who our coworkers will be yet, or the fact that we are learning all about the hot and humid and difficult living conditions, or the fear of tribal people themselves and the manipulations we will face. But I can assure you that something related to the sacrifices and suffering that will be involved began to sink in that day, and I didn't like it. Who likes feeling uncomfortable and out of control?
It provided a great opportunity for Paul and me to talk (and in my case, cry) through WHY we are doing this. . . .

1. Have we been exposed to the incredible need for unreached people to be told the truth of the gospel? Yes!
(A quote I recently heard was, "We talk of the second coming of Christ, yet half of the world has never heard of the first." Oswald J. Smith)

2. Have we seen that they are harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd? Yes!

3. Have we seen that it is God's heart that these people are told about Him? Yes!

4. Is God worthy of my obedience? Sacrifice? Suffering? Praise? Yes!

5. Does He love it when we depend on Him? Yes!
(And yet this is what makes me so uncomfortable)

Thanks for allowing me to share my honest fears and thoughts with you. We continue to appreciate your prayers and encouragement.

Love, Sheila and Paul