Global Talk

I was lying in bed this morning, running over several conversations we’ve had with young Venezuelans since we’ve been here. A common theme is that men are not faithful to their families. A 23-year-old young woman from Sweden is here trying to connect with her Venezuelan father. But she has finally decided that all the pain she suffered in Sweden, feeling unwanted by her father, was because he is nothing more than a boy in a man’s body. She has traveled all over the world trying to find meaning and purpose, trying to fill the void left by her father who impregnated her mother and then left.

It seems to be part of the “macho” image here in South America. And in the US, too, we know we have this problem. Families are ripped apart because of infidelity, whether on the part of the wife and mother or the husband and father. People, our children do not need this! Rather than spending all that energy being deceitful, trying to make up for the pain in our children’s lives, trying to juggle future weddings and babies and visiting and holidays, etc, with the “former” family and the “latter” family, why not rather put in the energy to make a good marriage great, or a mediocre marriage good, or a bad marriage better?! And for those of you who have already been down this infidelity road, whether as the perpetrator or the victim, maybe you have some wisdom from your experience that you can offer.

I’m not saying this from the standpoint of one with a pure mind who has it all together. Let’s ALL commit to putting time and energy into our relationships with our spouses, casting out “what if” thoughts that might begin to take us down the wrong roads. Let’s be vulnerable and open with our spouses, and magnify what it is that drew us together in the first place, the characteristics we most love and respect in each other. This is what our God would have us do, according to Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” I use this verse to change my focus sometimes, and it is very helpful.

Don’t just let your mind, or your eyes, wander. Paul gives good advice in Second Corinthians 10:5: “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient.” I’m a long way from that, but it has helped me realize how undisciplined my thought-life can be.

I owe it to my four daughters; I owe it to my 8 grandkids; I owe it to my WIFE; I owe it to my God, to remain faithful not just in deed, but in thought, as well. And each one reading this have a similar list of reasons for making your marriage a wonderful adventure in faithfulness.