Tracy's thoughts

The Sunday program said the title of this blog would be "King of Justification." Well, I changed my mind post program printing time because I thought this topic might be more meaningful right now. You may have heard me say recently that I am humbled by the amount of pain present in our lives these days. I am always encouraged to hear stories of those who are facing the pain head on and doing their best to work through it by clinging to God foremost and the relationships of those who truly care for them. The process is never easy. The e-mail below is posted with permission and captures the realness and honesty that I believe it takes to engage life's pains head on. I hope you are encouraged by their honesty and can relate in some way to the issues in your own life.
Peace,
Tracy
______________________________
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 11:15 PM
Subject: Thank you

Hello Loving Friends and Family,
Wow! We want to thank you for the love and support you've shown us through emails, cards, meals, prayers, your hugs and encouraging words. We truly feel the body of Christ grieving with us and upholding us through this time.

Paul and I were able to get away to the coast for a couple of days- which proved to be a good time to reflect, journal, and talk through much of what had happened. I think in my naive mind I thougt we'd come home from that weekend feeling healed and ready to move on. I quickly realized this is not how grief works. I'm seeing how unpredictable and fragile my emotions are. One moment I may be fine and the next I don't feel like I want to get out of
bed. Some days I feel great,(and then I kind of feel guilty about not hurting), and then other days the pain hits me hard at unexpected times. It can feel like a roller coaster.

Paul and I are learning through this time that we grieve differently, and that that is ok. We knew that was expected, but we didn't anticipate the frustration that it would bring. We are learning to communicate through our
differences and learning to extend grace. Sometimes we find ourselves laughing at these differences, but at other moments I want to run and pout. (there's that roller coaster again) Paul is learning the true meaning of the word unpredictable.

We've sensed our need to take things one day at a time as we hold our Father's hand. He is gracious to us and it is comforting to know that He is trust worthy. He is our Faithful Shepherd who longs to lead us through this
dark valley. I want to skip the valley, but I know the Lord has many lessons to teach us as we walk through this time.

Tomorrow I head back to work. I'd appreciate your prayers as I face my coworkers, and the mother baby unit, as well as my patients with brand new babies. I've always loved where I work, and my coworkers have all been so
supportive, but I know it will be hard at times. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. We feel so grateful!

love,
Sheila